The First Bird: Omnibus Edition

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The infestation begins, rapidly overtaking medical resources and resisting all treatment. She makes Matt an offer he can't refuse and together they join a team heading to the deep jungle in a desperate race to locate the hidden place where the specimen was taken.

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Only by finding the location of the specimen can the team — and the world — hope to uncover the secret of how to survive the ancient, horrifying parasite that has been released. Get A Copy. Paperback , pages. Published November 26th by Momentum first published August 1st More Details Matt Kearns 1. Other Editions Friend Reviews. To see what your friends thought of this book, please sign up.

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To ask other readers questions about The First Bird , please sign up. Does anyone know the names of the beasts in this book? I enjoy googling the extinct species to get a visual idea of what they look like, like the Orthocone in Beneath the Dark Ice, and the already forgot the name Spiders, but what of the giant 4 legged beast? Or the river one? See 1 question about The First Bird…. Lists with This Book. Community Reviews. Showing Rating details. More filters. Sort order. The third part of the omnibus ruined this one for me.

The first two were a great story of adventure, exploration, discovery and lost treasures. And the third part? What amounted to a zombie apocalypse and extraordinarily stupid character decisions, particularly Carla the cdc person who nearly gets everyone killed by stopping their transport a mile from the cdc because she sees a random infected child. I wish the author limited the scope of the novel to the ancient jungle storyline. Nov 09, Pamela rated it did not like it. I also have always found Noah Wyle to be much more attractive than George Clooney.

Well, remember that scene in the first movie, when Noah Wyle's character speaks a lost bird language?

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It's hilarious. Possibly the language of the archeopteryx, the "First Bird" of the title of Greig Beck's omnibus about linguist Matt Kearns. Everything that The Librarian has going for it: wit, charm, humor, well, that's missing in The First Bird.

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So, The First Bird is actually an omnibus of three shortish-stories that would have been pretty decent had he stopped after the first two. The third one, is, to be blunt, a hot mess. The main character was in I believe two out of the three earlier Arcadian books, although I don't much remember him. Matt Kearns is a rock-star college professor who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to sleep with his students.

That was one giant, inky black mark against him right from the get-go. One of the "job perks" is having an undergraduate paramour du jour. Matt and Megan are having teh sexiest times evah in the pool she ends up "kneading his groin" like pizza dough when he's irritatingly called away to do that adult thing called Work.

A mysterious woman named Carla Nero calls For, as you know, Matt is the best and most brilliant paleolinguist on the face of the earth. He is the only one who can decipher a mysterious language used by a "Lost Tribe" of the Amazon. But why the rush? Well, the last guy to visit that tribe?

His skin The CDC figures it's some sort of throwback scabies mite, except instead of being embarrassing, this little scabies guy shuts down your pain receptors and then liquifies your flesh, so you start going all Wicked Witch of the West.


Death, obviously, inevitably follows. Except for in the last third of the book but let's just ignore that now, mmkay? Unfortunately, the Brazilian government, alerted to a possible source of pandemic emanating from deep within the Heart of Darkness whoops, sorry, wrong continent, wrong genre , has declared a quarantine.

Even the CDC can't get in to help. Convenient plot device alert! You see, the chappie who started this whole business, Jorghanson melted-skin man , sold the "rights" to the archeopteryx to Steinberg. Not quite sure how that works, but whatever.

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It conveniently means that Steinberg wants to go get another bird for a film to make gabajillions of dollars. Except, instead of worrying about venomous snakes, dehydration, or, you know, the flesh-liquifying Scabies of Doom, Matt gets all peeved that Megan seems to be flirty-flirty with a buff dude on the expedition named Kurt. I mean, doesn't "Kurt" just scream "muscular manly-man"? Unfortunately, they're soon set upon by Mesothelae spiders, giant and deadly, who kill a wee little horse ancestor and suck its bodily fluids out, kind of like an arachnid chupacabra with a more varied diet.

And things only get worse from there.

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History repeats itself in that they find the "lost tribe" completely wiped out because Captain Amazing i. Jorghanson of the Liquified Skin was a measles carrier. The bodies, however, are all gone, and I don't think that that is ever fully explained. Matt and Megan magically translate the ancient pictograms and learn that the water inside this Special Area of the jungle nullifies the effects of the Scabies of Doom.

Whilst in there, they encounter even more animals that should have died out millions of years ago, all of which are homicidal. They return to the US only to find that the pathogen has spread and basically completely wiped out life as we know it. There are roving bands of people with no flesh wait, I thought once your skin fell off, you died. Isn't that how this usually works?

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Then how are these people alive??? Behold: "This is the end of days.

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This is the end of your life. Say goodbye to your husband Say goodbye to your wife You caused all this when you took our skins. Now all off to hell, for your terrible sins And although I had nothing to do with it, I would like to apologize to Michael Stipe. They also worship "the great goddess Angelina Jolie, may her name be forever blessed. I guess now somehow the mite is airborne so you can't go anywhere unless you're doused with chemicals, and yet Matt, Megan, and Carla are prancing around and making generally Poor Decisions.

The last sequences had me praying for the end of the book because it just made no sense. I really question the degree turn that this story made after books 1 and 2. Sure, the first two novellas were silly, but they were at least readable.

The First Bird: Omnibus Edition The First Bird: Omnibus Edition
The First Bird: Omnibus Edition The First Bird: Omnibus Edition
The First Bird: Omnibus Edition The First Bird: Omnibus Edition
The First Bird: Omnibus Edition The First Bird: Omnibus Edition
The First Bird: Omnibus Edition The First Bird: Omnibus Edition

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